Feeling Like a Beginner

Dear friend,

I was at a class just yesterday where the instructor asked us, "When was the last time you were a beginner at something? What did that feel like?"

Hands started popping up from those in the class, sharing about the last time they'd learned an instrument or started a new hobby. My brain was screaming at me thinking, "NOW! Right NOW I feel like a beginner!" My mind raced through all of these different things... feeling like a beginner as a photographer of course, I still have so much to learn and it's been really hard lately to feel confident in my work and get consistent clients, learn how to manage marketing and business with family life. I thought about feeling like a beginner as a mom, my baby just turned 1 and new phases and habits are developing in her, sometimes I don't know what to do or how to react to these changes.

I still feel like a beginner in my area, we didn't move here that long ago and while I've fallen in love with our home in Pennsylvania, I still struggle forming a community and finding friends my age and in the same phase of life.

As for the answer to the second question of 'what did it feel like?' to be a beginner, well... I'd say every emotion on the spectrum has been true at some point. Frustration, loneliness, discouragement, hopelessness... but I have also felt optimistic, determined, excited and exhilerated.

Being a beginner comes with it's ups and downs. We've ALL been a beginner at something, sometime in our lives. It can be defeating and sometimes we might feel like it's not worth it or we should give up. I've felt that. I felt it last week. I felt it today!

But as my 1 year old constantly reminds me, just because we fall down once, doesn't mean we shouldn't keep trying to stand up again. And again. And again. Failure is an opportunity for growth and a chance to learn something new. We can't become better or expert at anything unless we forge through the first frustrations of failure and battle the beginner inside of us.

As I look back on all I've learned in my photography journey the last few months, or journey through any big challenge really, I am in awe of the progress and growth that has come from it. I never would have thought then, that my current reality would even be a possibility. I'm proud of who I am becoming. And I'm becoming more and more proud of the photos I'm taking!

And you should be proud of yourself too! Think about where you were a year or 5 years or 10 years ago. Look at you! What an incredible person you are becoming! And the next time you feel frustrated as beginner, remember where you've been and how far you've come.

All my best, Rashae